Tuesday, July 15

Spin Span Spun




Well, after my Woolfest haul, it was only ever a matter of time (hours...) till I tried out my new fibres. I have had a good time with bright shades, as you can see, and I keep falling in love with each hank of yarn as it emerges. This morning that led me back to dyeing, too, so there are some ermm, 'confections', blowing about in the breeze as I type.
Meanwhile, there's little to report in the way of NEW stuff. Hugh is cutting grass for anyone and everyone, in between building us a new woodstore and fixing the car. I've been painting fences and sheds and endlessly weeding and cutting our own grass. The compensations are fresh fruit and vegetables on the table. The BAD bit is that I seem to have developed a reaction to strawberries! This is miserable news - what could be nicer or tastier than fresh picked strawberries on my breakfast cereal? But even two or three sliced up and munched is bringing me out in demented itching and red palms and face, which then spreads to knees, soles of my feet (?!) and back. Doesn't last for more than half an hour or so, but not nice at all. And this is our own strawbs, no nasty pesticides, no sprays or anything else on them. And they are the same plants as last year when I had no reaction at all. Ho hum.

Sunday, June 29

Seduced

I've been to Woolfest. Can you tell?!
Oh, it was like all the sweetie shops in the world, rolled into one! It's been running annually since 2005 and I've only missed one year, so far. In my view it gets better each time. though maybe it helped this year that I knew what I wanted to look out.
There are textile shows in other parts of the UK but none like Woolfest which takes place at Cockermouth, in the Lake District, a little under two hours' drive for me. So it's virtually on the doorstep, and it only costs £5 to get in! For those of you who may be thinking, yeah, but, so what? who wants to look at wool and sheep? I would say GO NEXT YEAR! Chances are if you are reading this you have an interest in handmade textiles in some form, and Woolfest is so much more that wool! As well as the bigger companies (that's big in this field, I don't mean multi-nationals!) there are lots of stands with individual makers' goods for sale - everything from kits to yarns to embroidery silks and fancy beads and fair trade buttons, beautiful rag rugs and felts in glowing hand dyed colours, stunning handknits, amazing angora and cashmere and silk fabrics and so on and on, as well as all the raw materials to make your stuff from scratch, and spinning wheels and knitting needles in all shapes and sizes, and demonstrators and workshops and live music and sheep's milk ice cream...... I've been doing quite a bit of spinning lately and my stocks were getting a bit patchy (honest) so I bought some lovely bright colours of wool fibre, either as tops or carded. There's Merino, Shetland, Corriedale and Wensleydale in the top pic, as well as angora and silk waste.
Below you can see a close-up of some super fine dyed Merino in palest pink and pistachio on the left. Along the top is dyed angora and below and two little heaps of dyed Wensleydale locks. I am itching to get started on new yarns now! And finally, how could I resist Herdy? I mean, no-one needs another mug, do they, but he's designed in Cumbria and made in Staffordshire, and a proportion of the sales gets channeled back into Lakeland causes. Check out the light-hearted website for more info.

Saturday, June 21

Art is in the Air

Well, first off, I need to tell you about the great day out Hugh and I had last Sunday - visited a whole stack of artists participating in The Art Tour in Northumberland. First stop was The Hearth at Horsley - a converted church, church hall and ancillary buildings now housing artists' workshops and a very fine coffee shop - saw some excellent painting, etching, pottery and textile work. And met Carol Nunan and Rebecca Vincent who are Horsley Printmakers - you may hear more about this great venue as I am sorely tempted to do a two day course in collography that they are running later in the year....

Headed off to Langley Village Hall then, where I checked out the work of Mandy Patullo in particular - a textile/paper artist whose work is happy and colourful and full of retro images and machine and hand embroidery. Then a quick trip across the road to explore the delights of The Garden Station before searching out the shed which is Katie Jackson's studio.In Katie's words.... Welcome to my magic shed, where I take jumble sale finds and mat them into bold designs, where damaged books find a new use and old recycled objects get another chance to shine. I love paper, fabric, wool and above all ...colour! A popular destination, [it was already full up when I took this pic] inside was a treat for all textile and paper recyclers. You'll see what I mean if you look at What Katie Did.... . I could have moved in happily. Poppy the collie was delighted to see so many people though she was curtailed behind the fence - probably for her own safety!

Hugh drove us home - I was too busy looking at the booty I had acquired during the day.

The Borders' own Art Studio tour is well advanced in planning now - two exhibition venues and studios from Berwick to Hawick and beyond will all be opening their doors in early September. Crossing Borders' members reach from Lowick in Northumberland to Peebles, so far, and membership is increasing all the time. The website will be live very soon - I'll let you all know! Hugh and I will be participating - the arty cabin will be throwing open its doors to welcome you all.
I met up with Anne and Fiona this week to say farewell to Helen as she and Stevan and the dogs head north to live permanently in their gloriously located but'n'ben in the North West of Scotland . We'll miss her but through blogs and Ravelry we'll be keeping in touch to watch her new business unfold. Good luck!

Sunday, June 8

Spreading the word...


Well, I mentioned last time that I had been the surprised recipient of an AWARD! It's all thanks to Gretel who had a fine time selecting creative textiley people for her 5 blogging honours.
Anyway, now that I have this on my virtual mantelpiece I get to select my own choice of worthy winners...
The rules iz az followz:
1) Pick 5 blogs who deserve this award for their creativity, design, interesting material and who also contribute to the blogging community no matter what language.
2) Each award must have the name of the author and also a link to their blog.
3) Each award winner must show the award and put the name and the link to the blog that has given her or him the award.
4) The award winner and the one who has given the prize must show the link of the “Arte y pico“ blog so everyone will know the origin of this award.
5) Show these rules.
Closest to home for me is Katie of What Katie Did- So far I have only eavesdropped on her wonderful tales of Northumberland life, creativity and the glorious pink shed but next weekend Hugh and I are planning to call in and see her and her hens as she is taking part in The Art Tour.
In Scotland, and next closest, there's Rima at The Hermitage. Such talent, such originality and such fantastic tales. Her work is addictive - once you've looked you'll be back for more.
After that it's another continent - I may just conceivably have mentioned a wonderful painting I received from Suzi, busily Arty Fartying Around, in South Africa. Well, her blog makes pretty damn interesting reading too, not to mention the opportunity to see all those covetable artworks.
And finally, across the pond, the ever creative Terry at Bent Objects for creating cool stuff from the everyday...
Go on, follow some links and find new and exciting STUFF!

Sunday, May 25

Making yarn while the sun shines

Well, someone's got to do it, and to be honest it makes a lovely change from the endless stings (nettles) and scratches (hawthorns, wild roses, wire netting, puppy teeth) encountered elsewhere in the garden. So I've managed to sit outside and make rolags and then spin up about a bobbin's worth of singles yarn so far. Another one to do and they can be plied together. It's a joy to sit and enjoy the breeze and the bird song (as in wrens, blackbirds and some very raucous hens) while doing something productive.
I have been given a blogging award by Gretel! Once I get all the info together that I need to post I will tell more...

I have to show off an addition to my stylish wardrobe! I dyed this Blue Faced Leicester yarn earlier in the year with natural dyes and the skein is in the shop. But I sent the other, very slightly lighter coloured, skein to the lovely Jess in Maryland (she lives in Geronimo Street - I love that) and she knitted me these fantastic socks based on gansey pattern. They fit perfectly and I will treasure them.

Tuesday, May 13

Yarn Forward



I think shades of red and green will be appropriate today - the garden is full of colour at last and from where I am sitting right now I can see sunlight through leaves - that's russet ones (fancy tree, can't remember what, but it was planted in memory of my Dad), scarlet ones (a little acer), dark red ones (a rose), plus honeysuckle, a eucalyptus, a spikey canna thingy, a yellow crab apple and some gaudy yellow and red striped tulips. Hmm, not big on names, am I?

On the naturals theme, here's a pic of some of the wool and bamboo yarns I dyed - had fun with the names, of course - from L to R, Summer Ices, Mint Julep, Apple Blossom and Nougat - all now in t' shop. And the teacosy, of which I am ridiculously proud.
No time for knitting now, too much to do in the garden. We need to simplify the 'pretty' part of it that we have inherited so that it involves as little ongoing work as possible. Fewer plants in pots, unless they are herbs, which earn their keep, and fewer fiddly corners for grass cutting. It's difficult, still, to come to terms with this as it was my mother's pride and joy and I want to keep it looking good too. Meanwhile we've been planting up the polytunnels and I am really hoping for a good tomato crop this year so that I can preserve some. Never had much success with peppers but we're having another shot at these. And only a few million courgettes...well, you see, they always germinate and then I look at these healthy little plants and think that I just have to find a home for them all. Planted lots of salady stuff and sneaked in some spinach (not exactly a favourite with Hugh) so fingers crossed that we can keep the slugs out of it all and have a good harvest all round.
Meanwhile, it's time I told you about Crossing Borders which is a newly constituted association bringing together visual and applied artists living and working in the Border region - that's both sides of the Scottish English border. There are marketing initiatives already planned - the first big one will be an open studios event in the Autumn, reaching from Hawick to Berwick with lots going on everywhere in between. The organisation will also encompass other folk - everyone from galleries and restaurants, accommodation providers to gardens - in short anyone who wants to promote art and design in the area. It's something that many of us have wanted to see happening for a long time although the credit for finally getting us all together must go to Sue Beck, a livewire who got the first meeting off the ground. I will be shouting about it some more as the website gets developed and our publicity material is produced. If anyone would like to know more, please get in touch.

Sunday, April 27

Spring is sprung...


......some seeds are finally in the ground. The temperature is easing up oh so slowly, lambs are fattening, trees are budding and the fact that the boiler is broken again is not quite as painful as it would have been a few weeks ago!

I've been dyeing more scrumptious sock yarns which I'll post up here as soon as they are dried, reskeined and ready to go in the shop. It's 75%wool/25%nylon for harder wearing socks. I've also acquired some wool/bamboo sock yarn and have dyed one skein so far - it takes dye beautifully.
I did knit a mad wee teacosy from some of the multicoloured yarn balls I made - just have not remembered to photograph it yet. Here instead is a delicious colour feast of Noro yarn that I am using in my stripey jumper. Only the back done so far as I haven't sat down to knit for a while.

Thursday, April 10

Another year by...



My birthday's been and gone but it was FUN! Ahhh, friends know me so well....
Marie (my niece) raided Thornton's for little bags of chocolate sweets and posted them off to me, Susan gave me posh Montezuma's chocolate and the lovely vintage trug with old terracotta plant pots, other kind friends the wartime cookery book, the Chocolate Fund money box, a girlie tool set and more. Hugh spoiled me too, including a 3 CD set of music from the movies which I am enjoying.
I already mentioned the yarns I bought last month. well, here's proof I have started the stripey sweater (only frogged once when I realised it was going to be a LOT too big). The yarn balls are all my scraps of blue faced leicester and pale yellow tapestry yarns dyed in various combinations with food colouring and knotted together! At least some of it is going to be a slightly mad teacosy I think.
I bought myself a present - this print from the talented Hermitage- she has such a delicious colour sense that I have resisted long enough. Besides, I love grids, colours, alphabets and most of the items illustrating the individual letters so it was obviously meant to be.

Tuesday, April 1

Wet Windy Wet Windy Wet....


March rolls into April and there's no sign of improvement in the weather - odd half days when it is quite pleasant, then it all just dissolves in the rain....
Last weekend Hugh and I went to three new exhibitions by Borders artists in Hawick Museum - [i] photographs taken along St Cuthbert's Way (100km walk from the Scottish Borders to the Northumberland coast) by David Taylor - lovely crisp images which capture the quiet beauty of our countryside, [ii] new pastels by Sandy Milligan - this delightfully unassuming gentleman has a stunning way with pastels, producing incredible detail in whatever subject matter he turns his hand to. I had not seen any of his work with boats and harbour scenes before and was very impressed, and [iii] Land Escapes, a big exhibition of work in various media by Siobhan O'Hehir. First time I had seen her almost abstract interpretations of landscapes and I really liked them.

From the museum we had a quick jaunt up to the Hub to catch the end of a Continental Market - too late for fresh cooked paellas and fancy breads but still time to succumb to a tempting offer of French cheeses. We over-indulged (I am a sucker for labels...) and have been eating rather cheesily ever since (including a very up-market Cauliflower Cheese one night!)

As for textiles - it's been another month of hats. I've been quietly knitting beanies from some commercial double knitting in various colours combined with stripes in various of my handspuns - I have stopped now, honest. The ones above are Nos 4-7. But my little passion for simple knitting continues so I am making myself a big stripey sweater using extravagant Noro yarn combined with cheap-as-chips pure organic wool yarn spun on the old mill machinery at New Lanark. It will take me a while since I don't knit more than a couple of evenings in a week but I may post w.i.p. shots. Apart from that I have dyed a couple more yarns for the shop.

On Sunday we had a good Woolgathering in the village hall. I proved quite incapable of getting the fire going but Anne's Girl Guide training came to the rescue and then we all warmed up. Lots of knitting going on this time, with a little fine stitchery by Anne and Lorraine. Janice sold a few yarn bargains from her stash, Anne some fabric for quilting and I sold eggs!

Tuesday, March 18

Madder by the Minute!






Now that I have written the title, I discover I am terribly pleased with myself as not only am I mad (as in cross), I have been natural dyeing with madder (and others too). Sadly, that's as smart as I have managed for weeks.
Anyhow, apart from grumping about having a tooth out last week and the seemingly perpetual ache from that (it DID not want to come out but I will spare you the details...) I am now grumping about the Building Control Section of Scottish Borders Council who have changed their minds and want us to amend our plans again for the cottage. Whatever the outcome (and we are investigating how we can appeal against their decision), we will effectively lose any chance of having the cottage ready to let this season at all. It's enough to send me looking for the sloe gin!
In between sulks I have had some fun dyeing these sportweight yarns with natural dyes, for sale on The Border Tart, and also dyed wool tops for spinners and felters. The new puppy Midge has been helping with garden clearing. This involves returning to the house from every trip to the garden with another little treasure in her teeth - from gravel to sticks, leaves, dried grass, mud, hen poo - hmmm, life in the country, eh?!
Looking forward to a post-Easter Woolgathering at the end of the month - always a great opportunity to indulge in lots of textile talk of one sort or another. Then maybe it really will be Spring.

Monday, March 3

Mad March Days

Amulree, Perthshire


Time for a catch-up - weeks have flown by at Shambles Chateau. H and I were in Perthshire for five minutes and Edinburgh for two days. The weather was variable so we got good and soaked in the city, pushed about by the wind whistling down those beautiful classical crescents and wide cobbled streets. Clocked up three exhibitions of one sort or another - the SILVER exhibition at the National Museum of Scotalnd was really impressive and very educational. The modern SILVER FOR THE STARS silverware made for some of our Scottish celebrities was fantastic - this link is to the teapot made for Billy Connolly.
I also took the opportunity to check out the Jerwood Applied Arts Prize 2007 finalists' work in jewellery which was on display in the posh new part of the Museum. Hugh was deeply unimpressed and stood by the window overlooking the Courts, watching the innocent and the less innocent wandering in for their hearings.

After an abortive attempt to see The Bucket List on a big screen (Hugh forgot his glasses, but don't say I told you) we wandered back along Queen Street and called in at the Scottish National Portrait Gallery and viewed the amazing talent of the artists who submitted work to the BP Portrait Award 2007 .

So, that was the culture bit. I also managed a visit to the newly opened K1 Yarns boutique by the Grassmarket (they have seats for bored partners/children) and succumbed to a hank of sock yarn from oldmaidenaunt which I have no intention of knitting personally, and a lovely turned wooden crochet hook which I have put to use (picking up dropped stitches in the hat below!).
These bits of nonsense are a beanie for Hugh, two egg cosies made from felted handknit socks that had worn out beyond re-re-darning, and one from some hand dyed yarn. The egg cups are IKEA's - I think someone in the buying dept got carried away as there were thousands remaindered and they will do fine for the holiday cottage.

Friday, February 8

A Grand Day Out



Blustery weather continues though no more power interruptions, thankfully. Textiles and card making work to the fore (more of the latter in a future post, I hope). Planning permission granted for the works needed on the cottage but still awaiting building warrant before we can start the destruction/construction stuff. My estimate of completion by mid summer is still manageable......
Much more interesting was the Woolgathering last weekend. Great turn out - lots of different textile crafts represented and new stuff on show. Janet had been making bags from Hinnigan's delicious tweedy fabrics, Lorraine was working on a great patchwork, Anke and her daughter Hannah were weaving (in the pic they had both run out of oomph - Hannah's weaving is visible in front of her (she's lost in The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe) and Anke had moved her big table loom out of the way to set about her knitting. Helen and Liz and Anne were knitting, Diana was spinning, Rona knitting, Amanda contemplated her needlework project, in much the same way as I contemplated my spinning. Linda did knit, then frogged her sock completely and sold the yarn to Lorraine! Janice did her most hated job of sewing up a jacket she had finished knitting.
Lots of shared ideas and looking at new textiley books and magazines, lots and lots of purchases and swaps of yarn and other essentials, and quite a bit of coffee drinking and cake eating. Another good bit for me was doing a swap with Anke - willow shoots in exchange for some of her home reared bacon and sausages!
As you can see, the village hall was looking a bit shambolic. Hugh and I and several other hall stalwarts had spent a few hours on Saturday stripping out fifty years of accumulated rubbish - the loft was sadly not full of treasure but of abandoned kitchen units, desiccated papers, rags and woodworm. The resultant junk was piled in the main hall so we had only half of it free to use on Sunday.

Saturday, January 26

Winter Warmers


Textile Therapy
Wool Gathering coming up on Sunday 3rd - It's going to be a lovely gathering as there are old faces and new coming along for the day to spin and stitch and knit and sew. Everyone's welcome.

Well we've had more snow and ice and wind and rain. The occasional dry hour or two but nothing that makes you feel like staying out there for long. Ash is oblivious to any weather except sleet so she certainly sees no reason for curtailed exercise. However, the arrival of a new puppy at the end of February will soon sort her exercise requirements..... retribution time!
Sadly for my ever-expanding waistline, winter weather plus a new big kitchen equals an excuse to bake and yup, here are the tamarillos again! Two of them were combined with apple and dates into mini muffins. There were lots more muffins but they were less photogenic...
The shop has been updated with the completed baby socks and my kantha bags so do drop by for a closer look sometime. Here's a heffalump one gracing one of my treasures - the little rush seated Arts and Crafts type chair with the wavy back which was my great aunt's.

Wednesday, January 16

New Year New Directions



Happy 2008!
At last we are back online - only been three weeks but it felt worse. Spent part of yesterday bringing the Border Tart into 2008 though I realise I have not photographed my finished kantha bags so that I can get them into the shop too.
My little still life on the windowsill has gourds grown by Tricia plus tamarillos she brought for me - grown in Berwickshire by Lady Swinton, no less, mother of actress Tilda Swinton. (Many years ago I remember Tilda's brother coming round to play with my little brother and my mother making biscuits for them - they ate them ALL so she made more for him to take home ---aaahhh!) . In the big glass jar is a wonderful temari ball made by the talented PG. They are all resting on a handwoven striped mat which I picked up at the flea/antiques fair held in Kelso last weekend

The next WOOLGATHERING is on February 3rd - The theme is NEW so any yarn/tip/stitch/ project that's new to you, bring it along and spread the word! I am sure we should manage to rustle up a bit to swap/sell/share too - I have had another clear out so I can promise a weird collection of bits that you really NEED!

Details - Sunday 3rd February at Southdean Village Hall in Chesters
from 10.30am to 3.30pm - coffee and cake always on the go
but bring your lunch and £5 towards the cost of the hall hire



I have been working on a few things for the house - mainly pillows/cushions as our lovely new kitchen table is built for giants.... each chair needs a cushion or two. We have a rather eclectic collection now, created from scraps and saved bits and pieces. Two of the cushions are from dishtowels too pretty to use for that purpose, one is from a pair of Hugh' cast off combat trousers...you get the idea. The lovely cockerel dishtowel was a present from a kind friend this Christmas. The ones below that are for the living room - the right hand one is made from bits of blanket, felted stripey socks which bit the dust and a couple of pieces of samples that I wove at college a hundred years ago. The left one is from the wee fabric remnants that I bought at Hinnigan's in Selkirk in December. The tamarillos make another guest appearance...

Sock knitting in progress but this is the best I can manage - strictly two needles and titchy size only. I made five pairs and sold them in little boxes at the Christmas Fayre. I still had a few ends of balls left, thanks to Janice, so I've been knitting and TV viewing or, better still, listening to some of the books on CD which Hugh gave me. Imagine, in this stylish tin there are 45 CDs, covering 10 classics. So far I have listened to the six which make up Pride and Prejudice but there's everything from Great Expectations to Middlemarch and Frankenstein to look forward to. I mean, yeah, I'd love to read them for myself but realistically having a good actor read them to me means I can be doing something and 'reading'.

Saturday, December 15

Winter Chills

Hugh and I have both succumbed to colds which is lousy timing with so much to do. At least we should be clear of them by Christmas, though. Lots of work has been going on in the kitchen next door - as in ripping the old one out and fitting a new one - mainly done by Hugh with the aid of the plumber and the electrician (who just happens to have a lovely chocolate lab called Muddy and to have a penchant for Hugh's paintings....say no more). A new kitchen SO POSH, by the way, it has an extra sink for handwashing so we can keep the Environmental Health officer happy and be allowed to sell food we cook in there. My tablet and preserves plus Hugh's bread will become legitimate once the EHO says OK and once we have done our Food Hygiene courses. Flipping bureaucratic nonsense but rules is rules, I guess. Meantime, we need to move next door for good in the coming week so we can spruce this house up for some visitors arriving at the weekend.

Looking forward to a festive rest - after the Christmas Eve carol service at our wee kirk then mince pies and mulled wine at the hall, of course. Well, you would expect nothing less of village life by now!

Other stuff? Well, I braved the frosty garden to take pics of the fancified waistcoat, then decided that the indoor pics were better. Herewith the back and a detail from one of the fronts - the colours in it are truer. And I have been washing and preparing and spinning fleece for a commission which ought to be done by Christmas. One of those jobs that I regretted taking on the minute I'd said it - wet fleece - winter - coughs and sneezes - ho hum, soon be done.

Sunday, November 18

The Festive Fayre is next...

I'm stitching and baking in readiness for the Festive Fayre we are holding at Southdean Village Hall on Saturday (24th November) . There will be stalls with jewellery and cards and hand drawn prints as well as The Border Tart, and Linda's famous (in these parts) mulled wine, and Reindeer Hoopla, plus a bran tub for the younger visitors, Christmas trees and wee wooden deer, handmade wreaths, no doubt a raffle and probably a bottle stall and all this excitement washed down with coffee and shortbread (oh, and more mulled wine...) - what better way to spend a late November afternoon?

Saturday, November 10

All things bright and beautiful


Hello! I am just back from a lovely day at the Federation Show where lots of wonderful women (and a few discerning men) came and bought up the supplies I had taken along. So there are thousands more beads in the Borders, heaps of Christmas card making kits, reels of cotton and metallic threads, fibres for spinning and felting, all getting tucked into stashes! The array of talent at the Show was amazing - you would not believe how many skilled crafters and bakers and knitters and stitchers there are out there, mainly hiding their lights under bushels (or whatever!).

Back in breezy Chesters, the shop is restocked with shiny new things for Christmas and beyond. Do have a look and let me know what you think. Postage is free anywhere on orders under £10.00 from now on, and there are lucky bags of goodies on offer too.

Saturday, October 20

Rainbow's End

Been gazing rather wistfully at the talents of others online tonight - always a sucker for signs, I am pleased to have found the Keep Calm Gallery, where you can purchase the above, among other delights.

And wonder knitter Maureen has been busy stocking up for the Christmas rush at Monkey & Sofia - these penguins and crocs are lovely but check out the kangaroo and giraffe too!




Dottie is a limited edition print from Thing of Beauty - an online shop whose home is also in the Scottish Borders.


This wonderful painting which I covet is from the talented artist Sue Hoppe, also known as Arty Farty

Thursday, October 11

Woolly Thoughts

Creativity presently extends to moving furniture round and winding myself up to make some curtains, though there have been forays into jelly making with this year's feeble apple crop, and seeing how much brandy one mixing bowl of mincemeat can absorb...
The spinning wheel was dusted off for the Crafternoon Tea and is back in easy reach - so why have I not sat down at it since? I think I need to schedule in a whole day of 'making things'. With that in mind, I am pleased to say there is another Woolgathering on the way - I reckon 28th October is near enough the actual date to give it a Halloween theme, and Anne has suggested we bring UFOs along. Of course that presents another dilemma - do I take the unfinished kantha work, the unfinished baby sock or the wheel with the beautiful dyed tops I bought at Woolfest?
The invitations have gone out to all previous participants but if you want to know more and would like to come along just shout - I can guarantee that the only level of skill to be publicly judged at such an event is your capacity for coffee and cake.